i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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