I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
