Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
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I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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