ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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