so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it because I queefed?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
