neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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