I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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