there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
