Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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