dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
