Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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