Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
