how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
