do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
