I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
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can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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