Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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