I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
two words...techno handjob
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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