First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
