it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
