i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize