erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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