turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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