He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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