You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I need water and some morals
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
