I CAN MOONWALK!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
