I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
