They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
