Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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