Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
