Dual....:-)
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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