There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
