what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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