the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
