Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
