Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
