HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
