he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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