I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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