Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
