He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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