I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
