Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
