Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
