She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
