Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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