I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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