I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
