i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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