Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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