Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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