You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
