I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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