ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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