HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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