He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My feet surprised me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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