Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
