I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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