I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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