i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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