Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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