HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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