so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
