I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
