I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
