To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
