He uses pillows to masturbate.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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