Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Holy sore nipples Batman
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize