i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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