My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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