NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
