Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
