Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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