I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
