So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
vagina is talking i cant
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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